I'm Done Fighting

“They say blood is thicker than water. Maybe that’s why we battle our own with more energy and gusto than we would ever expend on strangers.”

I’ve laid down my shields
My flesh my father has pierced with his sword, I am his biggest enemy
Yet he tells me he loves me
A civil war, battle of the fittest, whatever you wanna call it
Im losing

His tactics are Rome like
Charging in phalanx formation, he has 300 lies, and they all pierce me
Grazing my ear, I think I’ve been hit
I think he makes me cry, but tells me to shutup, don’t show it, be a man, have some pride
But its killing me inside
Lauryn Hill kills softly, my dad kills quickly and swiftly
Body blows and hits to the skull, and rattles my mind and leaves me in a coma
Paralyzed from the heart down, he leaves me empty

Our battle field is dark and gloomy, not even god can bare to watch
Not even ravens inhabit the dead trees
My dads stare, is deadly
He left me when I was 2
Attending all white powder parties, dressed to the tee, powder around his nose, sniffing in rushes
Sniffing lines, sniffing me
He wants me dead

Napoleon taught him everything
David taught him how to aim sling shots that shot crack rocks, and they hit me in the nostril
But I don’t sniff cause I am not a addict, I am not my fathers son
Hitler taught him a Nazi mentality, Shaka Zulu taught him heart, Sadaam gave him weapons of mass destruction
And they lie within the syllables of his words
They are atomic
You cant stomach the pain

Fidel Castro told him not to let me in his life
His emotional ties are fenced off from me
But once he haves me in his hate, he wont let me escape
Imprisoned by his pain, I am shackled in chains, he doesn’t want to see my happy
So I pick up spheres and aim them at his chest but never do I have the nerve to kill
I couldn’t imagine my fathers blood in the cracks of my fingers, staining my hands like he has stained my soul, well because, my hands are just like his

My lips, my shoulders, my build. Exact replicas of the dictator.
We are each others enemies, not one another’s keeper
And if blood is thicker then water, he likes milk, because he pollutes my wholesome with his oil
And it stays a float surfacing in my mind, parading around me like a dark sky

Dad, when did I ever try and hurt you
Don’t take your pain out on me
I am only a kid, let me breathe
Im tired of this field, this sky, these trees, just put down your sword, and let me, be me
Your son is tired of fighting